While I was flying to a friend’s wedding last November, I wrote this letter to an anonymous mom full of words I myself needed to hear. I thought to share it with you in case it’s something you need to hear, too.
Hi, mom! I know you have a name. I wish I knew it. I know you are more than a mom. You are a unique individual with your own unique wants, needs, talents, personality, ideas, opinions, and more.
Being a mom sometimes makes you forget yourself. It’s not that you want to, I know. It’s the time and lack of sleep!! It’s the emotional energy you put into your kids (and perhaps your partner) and it’s hard to have some emotional energy left for yourself.
We need reminders that our kids need us to be happy and healthy for them to be happy and healthy. If we run ourselves to empty (and beyond), we can’t possibly be the best version of ourselves our kids need us to be.
I know you know that. Don’t feel guilty because you have a hard time giving yourself self-care. We ALL struggle with that! Every. Single. Mom has struggled (or is still struggling) with self care as long as little ones are around.
This is only just a reminder. Because really, we need them. Because we know it’s necessary. And we feel guilty for not giving ourselves attention. But that’s not the point of my reminder. Don’t feel guilty.
Because as moms, we need those things, too.
We thrive on support. And if we can’t get it; the going gets real rough.
This reminder is here for support. To tell you even 5 minutes of self care is an absolutely amazing accomplishment.
Personally, I like to sit in the car for a few minutes when I get home from work. It helps me center myself before I give myself over to my family. I don’t want to take stress inside with me. I want to be there for my kids and husband emotionally, mentally, and physically.
If you love to do art or sing or dance or read or whatever it is, just take a few minutes to do what you love! Reconnect to you again!! It’s not asking much to just do 5 minutes of what you love a day in order to give yourself a smile.
Please don’t get overwhelmed or anxious. You can always work up from there. You’ll quickly find you have more than 5 minutes when your time is prioritized that way (maybe it will become an hour)!
Plug: Don’t try and sit in the bathroom for longer. For one, it hardly ever works out the way you want it to. Two, it’s not good for your pelvic floor to sit on the toilet unnecessarily (I am a pelvic floor PT, after all). If you need to sit in the bathroom, sit on the side of the tub instead 😊
Check out New Moon PT's monthly Mom's Hiking Group to get out and spend much needed time with other mom's and make new friends!